Each time that you are upset, or as you go through life's daily events did you know that you ask yourself many different questions. That inner monologue that we all do is often consistent and predictable. Why does this matter? What if I told you that if you knew the one question you asked yourself the most you could change your entire life. Don't believe me?
Take a moment and think about this, I will give you an example. Let's say that we have an individual whom we will call Bob. Bob is not happy. His relationships always fail, his health is sub-par, and he is always passed up for promotions. Bob is an average guy and his family and friends think highly of him. What is wrong with Bob?
What is wrong with Bob is that Bob's primary question is, What is wrong with me? Whenever anything in life is going well or not so well he will ask himself, what is wrong with me. When he gets a new girlfriend and she doesn't call for a day he asks, what is wrong with me. Because he asks this question his brain naturally answers his question even if the new girlfriend is simply busy with family or work. He will call her multiple times demanding to know why she hasn't called and ultimately scare her out of the relationship. There, is another failed relationship. This pattern will continue as he continues to ask this primary question.
Now in his career since Bob's primary question is based on insecurity so whenever he feels that one of his co-workers or his boss are dissatisfied with him he will ask himself, what is wrong with me. He will sense that his co-workers are dissatisfied with him if they don't say hi when they walk by, or if he doesn't like the way that they say hi. If a co-worker is in a hurry to complete an important task so they have to rush by everyone without saying hello then Bob will directly ask himself his primary question even though the co-workers lack of attention had nothing to do with Bob. But, Bob will ask himself this question and his mind will come up with a response that will lack logic. This results in Bob appearing to lack confidence. His overall demeanor is meek and timid. He works hard but never shows the qualities of a leader due to this constant self doubt and therefore he is overlooked when promotions come up.
Now, due to all this bob constantly has stress and pain. He mentally attacks himself frequently and therefore his health is inadequate. He overeats because he is depressed because he feels that there is something wrong with him.
It is interesting how one primary question is shaping this man's entire life. How is this powerful? What if Bob could change that question. What if Bob realized what he was doing and decided that whenever he felt like asking himself what is wrong with me, he would instead ask himself what makes me feel real good right now.
In Bob's relationship when his girlfriend doesn't call him for one day and he has the urge to ask himself what is wrong with me, he switches out the old question for his new primary question. He asks himself, what makes me feel real good right now. He shifts his focus to how wonderful it was to have spent the entire day with his new girlfriend the day before. He smiles and only calls her once to tell her how much he enjoyed yesterday and that he will look forward to her call when she gets the chance. He has turned his frightened attitude to something positive with one question. Even if this relationship ends, if he continues to ask himself the new question he will always be focused on what was good instead of thinking that something is always wrong with him.
Bob's career has also changed. Instead of having timid terrible days due to constant fear that his co-workers think something is wrong with him he is empowering co-workers and his boss with his new found uplifting spirit. Instead of being so focused on himself and what may be wrong with him he is focusing on the positive events of the day and of his job. He is helping his co-workers get things done and showing new leadership qualities. When a promotion comes around his boss makes note that he should consider Bob.
Well, Bob feels the new respect from friends, co-workers and even his girlfriend. He is no longer depressed. Even when something comes along that could be considered negative Bob is able to turn it around and make it positive. He no longer feels a need to over eat and has lost over 50 pounds. This is another thing that people notice, respect and constantly compliment him on.
By simply recognizing his primary question and changing it, Bob was able to completely turn his life around. Now, it's your turn. What do you tend to ask yourself the most? You may not be able to think of it right this second so pay attention to the questions you ask yourself, especially when you are upset.
Find this primary question and replace it with something empowering and uplifting. I personally changed my life by asking myself how am I so lucky to have found this person, instead of .